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Firstly, because you’re not mad. Secondly, because there’s a factual deficit on the Internet and it’s time somebody redressed the balance. Thirdly, because I’m the greatest being in the entire omniverse. Fourthly, because only with me do you get the finest policies of all time, like price-capping croissants at £1 and nationalising Adele. And finally, for a laugh while planet Earth disintegrates. Subscribe to get full access to the newsletter and website. Never miss an update.

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Promoted by Count Binface, PO Box 731, Wadhurst, TN5 6TD, Earth