Would you like an escape pod?

I reckon I could make a fortune, but I'm giving them away.

Hello humans!

It’s another week, and your planet is still intact. You’ve got to celebrate the little victories these days. Just like we’ve got to enjoy the fact we all have each other. Countbinistas, by reading this Substack you’re part of a growing community who know that no matter how shit the ‘mainstream’ politicians get, we will never give up our precious right to point out their failings and - most important of all - to royally take the piss.

Yes, it’s true, the fascists are rebooting their jackboots and getting ready to reemerge from the shadows like a Sith lord with even worse dress sense. But as poisonous as the media has become, the truth is still out there. You’ve just got to look harder to find it.

Except not any more. Thanks to me! Firstly, as you’ll know, I have successfully brought peerless news service Ceefax back to the BBC (on the radio)! And secondly, I am continuing my bid to conquer the all-important Podcastosphere, with my very own podcast Trash Talk With Count Binface. Get it here!

It’s my online audio home where I speak to the great and good of humanity to find out what they think of your planet and your species, to help me - y’know - conquer it. Guests so far include Ian Hislop, Professor Alice Roberts, Wendy Chamberlain MP, Nitin Sawnhey, Stewart Lee, Sathnam Sanghera, Bake Off winner Guiseppe Dell’Anno, Traitors supervillain Paul Gorton, Al Murray, and many more, with lots of exciting names coming this year.

Who would you like to see me chatting to? Send me any thoughts in the comments and I’ll see what I can do!

In the meantime, to give you a taster, here’s a little clip of me chatting to TV’s own Matthew Wright…

Cheers Matthew!

A brand new episode has just dropped, with my special guest Jemma Forte, co-host of hit podcast The Trawl.

I’d be galactically grateful if you’d add Trash Talk to your podcast app of choice. It’s free to listen and my guests are unfailingly funny, and frankly fantastic. It will surpass all my interstellar travels to venture into your ears and accompany you for your commute, jog, toilet break or whenever you enjoy your audio gems.

It’s the Today Programme without the creeping right-wing agenda

It’s The Rest is Politics without the bloke who had a bit of an issue with Iraqi WMDs

It’s the News Agents without Jon Sopel plugging his books or sodding off on holiday

It’s TRASH TALK!

Peace and galactic love,

CB x