Welcome to my Intergalactic Subspace Substack!
Conquerer of star systems, fascists, and overpriced croissants invades the newsletter world!
The End of the Beginning…
I am over the moon and several planets to reach you with my brand new substack. Thanks so much for choosing me - it means you’re part of the vanguard, the intergalactic elite of Countbinistas ,who are interested in following my ongoing missions: to save the omniverse from the shitshow that is planet Earth, and to save planet Earth from the shitshows of its ‘mainstream’ politicians. This newsletter is a lovely, fresh cyber-home for my ingenious machinations, and hopefully a light-hearted break from the crazed doom-mongering of the news cycle.
1. Why this, why now
I’m fresh off the back of the 2024 London Mayoral Election, where I achieved the astronomical double victory of winning over 24,000 votes and in the process defeating the fascists of Britain First. If that’s not enough, I even got a handshake and a chat with the re-elected mayor Sadiq Khan, and helped remind the great citizens of the Earth Capital that hope springs eternal.
I thought this would be a good time to launch a new platform where I can wax lyrical to you regularly about my thoughts about politics, on Earth and beyond. And there’s another reason too - given what a complete clustermusk has been made of the website formerly known as Twitter, and the fact that TikTok is owned by the dystopian Chinese government and might get banned at any moment, it’s probably a prudent step for any politician (interstellar or otherwise) to reach out to you guys directly, rather than relying on billionaires or dictators as a conduit. I don’t make the rules up. Yet. I just roll with it. So here we are!
2. Hope, joy and croissants
I want this to be an oasis of political (and satirical) common sense, with a healthy dose of galactic fun into the bargain. There are some intergalactic space warriors who like to do their conquering with a dour and charmless demeanour, but I like to conquer galaxies with a smile. And here’s another thing - the ‘mainstream’ news media on Earth has a slightly tendency to move away from the career of us extraterrestrial politicians when there isn’t an election going on. Well more fool them! This substack is a way to follow me in a bit more depth throughout the year(s). Think of me as your constant alien companion through the madness of the 21st century.
3. What will you get?
Here’s the plan. I’ll write a weekly post here on the Substack which all subscribers can read for free. For anyone kind enough to pay, I’ll post regular extra content, open up the full archive of all prior posts, and you can join the community and add comments. Then, for anyone who wants to be a Founding Countbinista, not only will you be helping me continue my quest to conquer Britain and then the whole Earth, but you’ll get a signed copy of my wondrous debut book, ‘What On Earth? An Alien’s Guide To Fixing Britain’, complete with a personal inscription and a video message.
May the Ceefax Be With You! CB x
