Keir and Present Danger

Or should that be the Osborne Identity?

Prime Minister Starmer, pardon my interstellar insolence, but what the hell do you think you’re playing at?

Ok, I confess. I’m being rhetorical. We all know damn well what the new PM is up to. After months and years of saying that everything wrong with the UK is the Tories’ fault - which tbf it is - he’s got hooked on telling the British people that everything’s gone to shit. Which it most certainly has. But there is a problem with that.

Keir, it might feel like ancient history to you, but your slogan for the 2024 General Election - indeed seemingly your entire manifesto - was a single word: CHANGE. So voters have a right to be more than slightly pissed off to see you deliver a first keynote speech as PM with the message, ‘Things can only get worse, for a bit, but bear with us guys because we’re on the case.’ The only people likely to be breathing a sigh of relief about this lack of ambition are the members of D:Ream.

Literally the only concrete difference between Starmer’s Rose Garden speech and one that could have been delivered by Rishi Now-Axed was that Keir was a bit more full-throated in decrying the last lot, especially the fact that the Boris Johnson Administration (if that is not an oxymoron) spent the pandemic turning the garden into Saltburn…