Hello humans!
So then, Donald Trump really is starting a trade war. He’s also probably about to start some real ones, but let’s stick with trade for now.
‘TRADE WAR’. It’s a curious phrase. ‘War’ is generally speaking an alarming word, but ‘trade’ is pretty much as dull as the English language gets. Put them together - ‘TRADE WAR’ - and it sounds like the sort of thing that should be on BBC One Daytime, hosted by whichever cheeky chappie middle-aged presenter hasn’t been cancelled yet. Here’s looking at you, Dion Dublin.
Sadly, for millions if not billions of humans, the consequences of Donald Trump slapping tariffs all over the place are going to be very real. Canada, Mexico, China, and the EU are all in the crosshairs of the Fanta Fuhrer. Meanwhile Sir Keir Starmer is hiding behind a Downing Street sofa, hoping that Britain is too pathetic to be bothered with.
Even Trump has accepted that his policies could damage American wealth, in the short term at least. Do you wonder who is advising him? Well, I don’t want to worry anybody, but the other day I swung my starship over to Washington DC and spotted a pair of new trade envoys entering the White House:
Whichever planet you’re on, take it from me, taxing trade routes don’t tend to end well. But believe it or not, there is a silver lining…
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