Binface v Boris: Five Years On...

There could only ever be one winner.

Hello humans!

May the festive spirit be coursing through you, the shopping as pain-free as possible, and the eating and drinking as generous as you so choose.

If you’re looking for a cheeky Christmas present, may I humbly suggest that the loved ones in your life (including yourself!) surely deserve some bintergalactic wonderment. For anyone in Bristol or Liverpool, you can get tickets to my acclaimed comedy show, which is coming to those cities in 2025 (tickets HERE). Or you can get/gift a full subscription to Count Binface Lifts The Lid. Head HERE for 25% off, giving you premium bin juice for just over £3 per month. Plus you’ll be super-charging my efforts to hold the ‘mainstream’ politicians to acCOUNT in the year to come.

Speaking of which, I’m prepared to wager that one place that’s having a stonking festive season is the Johnson household. It’s a place that is surely dripping in cash. Even after all his alimony and maintenance payments, Boris will be swimming in the proceeds of his book advance, speaking engagements and the curious new business ventures he has stuck his snout into. For someone who was effectively kicked out of parliament for being a congenital liar, life seems to be very peachy indeed.

On top of that, it’s a sad fact that Boris will be thinking that the state of Westminster is just one giant Christmas present for him. Just look at it: Labour are starting to bear the brunt of the nation’s anger, Kemi is too busy picking fights with bread to deal with the threat from Nigel Farage, and Ed Davey has got his eye on being the next host of ITV’s You Bet! reboot. With every passing day, more humans will say not only could Boris come back, but she should.

That’s why I am delighted to offer a much-needed galactic counterbalance…